1:17 PM
i feel lyk to spread it
today i ddnt go to scul cuz i dun feel lyk to go snce ystrday.
last nite i felt rili messed up && dirty. my hair was rili itchy .& i still on my scul uniform.
after buka puasa i ddnt tke my bath,but went straight to mum's room. i slept,til 9pm.
i went down stairs to call hby ,unfortunately, i saw dad watching tv.
i took bju kurung off & slept half-naked. idc snce evryone in da hse r girls except dad,i never care.
then mum cme n askd me to wear sumthng at least.yea watever,& wear a single blue baju.
i went to slp again. i waited til dad wenta slp,unfortunately aws overslpt til 1pm.
i woke up & prayed,i cant slp,so i hd a lil chat with farah.i usually tell her bout my experience whn i was in mrsm.
i always thnk bout it,cuz i lost myself .so i wna recall it so i spread it to farah. recall,recall.
adui.aku yg dlu bkn gne.i used to be unstopable.npa aku ne ?paluinyaa.lw org mki aku ,ak ble wat smpai tuw org ngs2 minta maaf.ne na apa ak skg ne,berdiam diri ja.oi dania,mana pd hah?..mungkin keyakinan ak smkin berkurang..ya.berkurang dsbbkn faktor persekitaran.ak susa mw menyesuaikan diri wa.tp kdg2 cpt trpengaruh.ttpi msih susah hndk menyesuaikn dri & show the real me .haha.
"oh,hello brain,where's pd?the tough & unstoppable pd?the unweak pd? the loud pd? the talkative pd? the center of attention pd? i miss her :(" i miss my status as taiko form 2. idc ppl were talkin bwt me & dat .at least im not lyk ths.as if lyk im a loser.oh.is wearing tdung is the cause? idk :( .i feel lyk rili merendah diri snce im d strangers.oh,world.
today .idky.i got the strongness & dare to view it.both.
but nuthn much.
btw,dad askd me to befren wit org alim supaya i'll be one of em too.
but its so hard 4 me,cuz ,as if im not me if i befren wit em .
they were rili proper && well-mannered .they laugh ddnt out loud.
& they laugh about sumthng not rili fuhneh.
they ddnt talkabwt ** .they talkabwt study.they follow rules.
"hey,im not lyk ths ."
its bored .rili bored me .but .
i hv to :( cuz i am one of them,.oh,world.
i dun feel the same .